Lunch anyone?
I would be working with their love child without a doubt.
In an effort to decide on what to name my newest Cocktail Confession subject…PC Guy -OR- Cliff Claven, perhaps a mash up of both are in order. Something like PC Claven. Just doesn’t have a ring to it, you know? I’ll just stick to PC Guy for now.
Anyway, I thought he’d be a perfect subject to write about. I can’t help to be both facsinated by him at a distance, yet utterly try and avoid any social conversation with him that I can. I’d almost rather make out with Bea Arthur in a thong than to find myself in any length of conversation with PC Guy. However, I love to be a fly on the wall during meetings just so I can watch the comedy ensue as others are trying to politely nod his way while trying to look attentive and caring.
He’s a nice guy and and excellent worker, but has the uncanny ability to take any interesting and normal conversation two people would regularly engage in and turn it into an experience akin to having a root canal in a Muzak laced elevator while watching grass grow.
I name him PC Guy, because he really does indeed look like a slightly shorter version of actor John Hodgman who plays the straight laced ‘PC Guy’ opposite of Justin Long’s ‘Mac Guy’ in those quirky Apple commercials. Very vanilla, non threatening and pretty much nondescript. He’s from back east, a transplant from New York, but sadly no raucous New Yorker stories that has us rivited around a pint glass. More like directory listing reading around a glass of YooHoo.
On the other hand he speaks much like Cliff Claven of ‘Cheers’ sitcom fame. Basically we can always count on him to know a little something about absolutely nothing. I swear, no matter what the topic, PC Guy has his $.02 that is interjected come hell or high water and you can watch everyone mentally in the group trying to figure out which excuse to use (and what they haven’t used before) to get them out of the impending duldrum….”Oh, I just forgot, I need to get my prostrate checked right now. Sorry got to go. Carry on.”
It’s like taking the 3:10 to Yuma and then realizing you are gonna hit every other stop along the way with a layover at Tangent City. You want to gnaw your leg off like a rabid wolf caught in a snap-trap. It never ceases to amaze me that any conversation is summarily hijacked and the energy is sucked away into one of Stephen Hawkings black holes.
Today, I had the pleasure of listening to a very lengthy and unsolicited pitch on off brand 20 and 24 inch flat panel monitors with and without HDMI ports. The thing is, I don’t give a crap nor do I recall asking. Nor have I ever requested to know Microsofts daily stock prices, or what Apple protocols are general used for peripherals, or how much Lenovo motherboards are. These don’t even begin to give justice to the shit I’ve been subject to.
"Ya know...."
You know the worst thing? It’s lunch. The last thing I want to do at lunch when I’m out of the office, is to talk about THE OFFICE. I spend 8 hours a day in a technical field surrounded by engineers, tech support people, help desk specialists, etc. What make you think my 1 hour out of the office I want to talk about AMD cache speeds or the intracacies and development history of CDMA technology for cellphones.
Yeah, this all sounds technical, but it’s also about the telemetry of gulf originated hurricanes as oppsed to those in Indonesia, or rust compunds on ferrous metals, or the chemical composition and history of stamp adhesive.
AARRRRGGGHHHH
Filed under: Hazy | Tagged: boring, Cheers, Cliff Claven, John Hodgman, lunch, PC guy, trivia
